The NOISE I just fucking made

ALT

[ID: a tweet by atrophy husband @/post_twinkism saying,

"I'm t4t but that doesn't mean cis ppl can't shoot their shot it just means they won't be cis when we're done"

/end ID]

[transcript: #this pussy cracking eggs like a diner line cook /end transcript]

Reading darkfic only gives me empathy for the characters, doesn't make me evil.

How's this for a hot take?

Consuming dark fiction, though it allows the audience to empathise with morally dubious or outright evil characters, nonetheless increases their overall amount of internal empathy towards other people. Not just bad people benefit from an overall increase in empathy.

Consuming exclusively sanitised, fluffy feel-good fiction with no counterbalancing dark sides does not increase the audience's empathy, because anyone who cannot empathise with The Littlest Cinnamon Roll, who has adventures dealing with happiness and friendship and harmony, is already a lost cause. Rather, such fiction, when all other kinds are excluded, normalises the idea that the only people worth empathising with are the morally pure cinnamon rolls who have never done anything wrong in their entire lives. The normalisation, and reinforcement of same through the standard life cycle of a fandom, reaches such a point that as soon as the characters in question step outside the boundaries of that bubble of innocence by doing (1) problematic thing, they are cancelled for crimes against humanity and the fandom tears itself apart.

This is my explanation for not only why fandoms for fun kids' shows tear themselves apart over the slightest perceived creative slip-up, but also why the most passionately engaged fans of these things (who more often than not precipitate the rot/collapse) tend to be such toxic people in all other spheres of life as well.

I feel like I don’t have a fandom right now? I was on a server for a particular Marvel ship very briefly and it was just way Too Much that I was not really invested in and no people I already knew (except a few by reputation). It also didn’t feel like a place where I could integrate myself and actually be heard because it was big and loud and busy.

I’m also in a very different place to where I’ve been in the past where I really had A Fandom I was into, where I was reading someone’s fics obsessively and they were often updating, where I had lots to say about particular characters. I just … don’t have that right now. I occasionally read something new that an old favorite posts or circle back to old fics I love, but I haven’t been actively seeking out new fic lately. I don’t have a particular fandom obsession.

I’m trying to get a Downton RP going but both of the ones that were so promising seem to have died within a couple weeks, and I’m not sure I actually enjoy a lot of the Discourse and Conversation that goes on in the Downton fandom. Part of it is that it feels just so dominated by a few voices that grate on me, part of it is that I feel like when I’ve expressed an idea and someone’s bothered to respond, it’s got nothing but negative feedback. I’m not sure I’d actually enjoy a Downton server (although I guess if someone knows of one, I’ll try it?)

I don’t really have any other fandoms at the moment that aren’t sort of … more nostalgic than active in my brain, or that were never really a place where I was active in creating and discussing. I like Schitt’s Creek and I’ve written for it a little, but I don’t feel the urge to hang out and talk about it. Or Our Flag Means Death, though I enjoy some of the tumblr conversations about it. I have similarly shallow feelings about Ted Lasso – I’ll read a fic or two, but don’t want to dig deeper. I’ve written for Star Trek, but I haven’t kept up with the newer shows, and I’d be out of my depth talking about the classics. Would probably also be out of my depth in a Tolkien chat. Potter seems potentially toxic at the moment. I’m out of the loop on Marvel. IDK if there’s a MASH chat, but it’s been years since that was my active fandom. IDEK where to start looking for a space.

Anyway, much thanks to the people who are trying to help me find places to chat on Discord. I need places to find human connection and the real world is failing me.